I remember having a conversation with a friend who was contemplating having a child. I told her that you think you have a handle on where you and your partner agree and disagree until you have a child. After having a child, you start making decisions about how to parent, and the landmines are everywhere. My friend now has a dog, not a child. I don’t know if that conversation influenced her or not.
The trip home for the holidays was blissful until A’s math teacher called on the 2nd and she had to face the music of having lied to us. H and I were both angry and hurt but probably for different reasons. While H was baffled by her behaviour, I identify with most of her actions. I don’t think her behaviour is right at all, but I also refuse to think she’s a bad egg because I did the same things and I ended up a productive member of society. So I guess in some ways, I take the criticism personally, which really is ridiculous. She is so headstrong and stubborn at times. It led to us having a disagreement and of course I felt guilty because I was away and not doing my part of the parenting.
When we moved to STL, I single parented while H stayed behind to work for four months. It was a very bad time having also lost my mother. There were times I thought I would lose my mind. At least when we are together, when one is fed up, we can say “tag, you’re it” and the other comes in and takes over. I take my hat off to single parents. It has to be the toughest job in the world.
I know the fun is just beginning as she enters her teen years. She had a sleepover Saturday night, the night before I left. I was dreading picking her up before the airport because of her cranky mood. What girl comes home from a sleepover well-rested and with a sunny disposition? Of course, she was cross as ever. At some point she told H to stop asking her questions because she hates when people ask her questions, which made us both laugh, which just made her mad. I was all set to be happy to say goodbye since Mr. Hyde had obviously possessed my child. She was silently reading in the back seat, but when the car stopped and I turned around to say goodbye tears were streaming down her face. We got out of the car and sobbed together. In the heat of an argument, my mother used to say that she prayed that I would have a daughter just like me. Oh, if she could see it now.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
All Quiet on the B&B Front
The B&B is a different place these days. My work colleague H and I are the only guests and L & P, the owners are in America until this weekend, so L’s mom and dad are here taking little B back and forth to school and preparing breakfast for us. I miss L’s smiling face, asking me if I’d like a cup of tea when I come in from work, but it is also nice to have some quiet as I ease back into work life.
My housemate N left the day I returned. We were hours away from seeing each other at Heathrow. After living in the UK for eighteen years, he is settling back in New Zealand, where he was born. I will miss him for two reasons. The first, he made so much noise slamming doors and getting his bike out of the garage in the morning that I never had to set an alarm clock (housemate H totally agrees). The second, he had a great sense of humor and would entertain all of my cultural questions. I look forward to hearing all about his adventures as he starts his new life.
My housemate N left the day I returned. We were hours away from seeing each other at Heathrow. After living in the UK for eighteen years, he is settling back in New Zealand, where he was born. I will miss him for two reasons. The first, he made so much noise slamming doors and getting his bike out of the garage in the morning that I never had to set an alarm clock (housemate H totally agrees). The second, he had a great sense of humor and would entertain all of my cultural questions. I look forward to hearing all about his adventures as he starts his new life.
The Election
When I talked to my dad when I was home he asked me what I thought of the presidential race. I told him that I didn’t want to pay attention until the candidates are decided. This topic also came up when I saw my buddies L & R as the results of the Iowa caucus were being totalled. We reminisced about a Halloween party we attended the October before the last Presidential election and how confident we felt that Bush would be defeated. Just sitting in the airport Sunday watching CNN analyze the race made me nervous. Then I got on the plane and there was an American and two Brits talking, also analyzing the results of the caucus. It was hard for me not to jump in since I didn’t really agree with the American’s viewpoint. Oh, I hope to escape some of the media attention surrounding the election, but surprisingly (or not) there is a lot of coverage here. It’s not that I am not interested, it just makes me very anxious.
The Tour
This Tuesday, fifteen realtors toured our house with our agent to try and drum up some business. Hopefully it will be like that shampoo commercial from the 70’s where they tell two friends and so on and so on…
What I Did on Winter Break
Last month I was out to dinner with a colleague and I mentioned that my time at home would be the longest I’ve been away from the office in years. According to her European sensibilities, this was appalling. I joked with her that I feared if I ever took more than a week off at a time, I might have a nervous breakdown when it was time to go back. The Friday before the Sunday I flew, that joke was looking close to my reality. Three things always come to mind when faced with continuing the life of a working stiff.
1. Is there a way to become independently wealthy?
2. Criminal activity.
3. Why wasn't I born into royalty or at least the Hilton family?
Of course once I got back, it was fine. How did we spend our time? Mostly just the three of us hanging out.
Time flew by. For the first time ever during vacation I avoided checking and responding to business email. I also avoided running myself ragged with obligations. It felt good. It also served as a bit of an experiment. We all have family in our lives that we probably wonder, if I didn’t make the effort to contact them, would they contact me? I can only speak for myself, but the answer is no, they would not make the effort. And I’ve decided that’s okay. I just won’t worry so much about making the effort anymore.
My friend T called early in my vacation and asked me if I was sleeping okay. I told her that I had been getting up about five o’clock every morning and said that was okay because then I could watch whatever I wanted on television. She laughed but it is not far from the truth. I fell back in love with my TiVo and Netflix. If you have food, shelter, and a loving family, these two things are all you need. I caught up with my favourite HBO series with Netflix. H and I watched the last season of The Sopranos. I will miss the complex characters and the stories that like life, never come to a neat end.
Thanks to our buddy M in Houston, A and I caught up on our favourite reality show, Project Runway and we also watched several reruns of Malcolm in the Middle. We laughed a lot. It was glorious.
1. Is there a way to become independently wealthy?
2. Criminal activity.
3. Why wasn't I born into royalty or at least the Hilton family?
Of course once I got back, it was fine. How did we spend our time? Mostly just the three of us hanging out.
Time flew by. For the first time ever during vacation I avoided checking and responding to business email. I also avoided running myself ragged with obligations. It felt good. It also served as a bit of an experiment. We all have family in our lives that we probably wonder, if I didn’t make the effort to contact them, would they contact me? I can only speak for myself, but the answer is no, they would not make the effort. And I’ve decided that’s okay. I just won’t worry so much about making the effort anymore.
My friend T called early in my vacation and asked me if I was sleeping okay. I told her that I had been getting up about five o’clock every morning and said that was okay because then I could watch whatever I wanted on television. She laughed but it is not far from the truth. I fell back in love with my TiVo and Netflix. If you have food, shelter, and a loving family, these two things are all you need. I caught up with my favourite HBO series with Netflix. H and I watched the last season of The Sopranos. I will miss the complex characters and the stories that like life, never come to a neat end.
Thanks to our buddy M in Houston, A and I caught up on our favourite reality show, Project Runway and we also watched several reruns of Malcolm in the Middle. We laughed a lot. It was glorious.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
New Year's Thoughts
It’s strange to think that on the first day of the New Year we are a family in transition. I am sitting here typing on my laptop as the sun is setting in an empty living room as a truck stops outside to pick up a flyer next to the “for sale” sign in the yard. Please, be the one! I didn’t think at this point our family would be split across two continents.
We have had such a good visit and it has been so nice taking a break from work that it is hard to imagine getting on the plane this Sunday. Our good friend B drove up from Alabama to spend the evening of the 28th and the 29th with us. She got to partake in one of our “clean the house for a potential buyer” moments when we got a call from our realtor on the 29th. She then stayed with A on the night of the 30th so we could go away for our anniversary, probably the best ever. I am forever grateful to her for that.
Last night for New Year’s Eve, A attended her first party, a sleepover at her best friend’s. It was the first New Year’s Eve that we have ever spent without her. Inevitably, now she is fast asleep on the couch because they were up all night so I’m taking advantage of the quiet.
The B&B owners are travelling to U.S. today for a vacation for a few weeks. P has been here before but L has never been. I’m feeling a bit nervous, hoping that they have a good visit and L leaves with a good impression. Somehow I feel responsible!
We have had such a good visit and it has been so nice taking a break from work that it is hard to imagine getting on the plane this Sunday. Our good friend B drove up from Alabama to spend the evening of the 28th and the 29th with us. She got to partake in one of our “clean the house for a potential buyer” moments when we got a call from our realtor on the 29th. She then stayed with A on the night of the 30th so we could go away for our anniversary, probably the best ever. I am forever grateful to her for that.
Last night for New Year’s Eve, A attended her first party, a sleepover at her best friend’s. It was the first New Year’s Eve that we have ever spent without her. Inevitably, now she is fast asleep on the couch because they were up all night so I’m taking advantage of the quiet.
The B&B owners are travelling to U.S. today for a vacation for a few weeks. P has been here before but L has never been. I’m feeling a bit nervous, hoping that they have a good visit and L leaves with a good impression. Somehow I feel responsible!
Put Away the Goose Fat, Christmas is Over
I took this pic of an advertisement in a popular British magazine to illustrate how popular potatoes roasted in goose fat are during the holiday season. Haven't tried them yet, but will be sure to during the 2008 holidays. One of my many New Year's Resolutions!A happy and prosperous 2008 to all!
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