Trials and Tribulations

I remember having a conversation with a friend who was contemplating having a child. I told her that you think you have a handle on where you and your partner agree and disagree until you have a child. After having a child, you start making decisions about how to parent, and the landmines are everywhere. My friend now has a dog, not a child. I don’t know if that conversation influenced her or not.

The trip home for the holidays was blissful until A’s math teacher called on the 2nd and she had to face the music of having lied to us. H and I were both angry and hurt but probably for different reasons. While H was baffled by her behaviour, I identify with most of her actions. I don’t think her behaviour is right at all, but I also refuse to think she’s a bad egg because I did the same things and I ended up a productive member of society. So I guess in some ways, I take the criticism personally, which really is ridiculous. She is so headstrong and stubborn at times. It led to us having a disagreement and of course I felt guilty because I was away and not doing my part of the parenting.

When we moved to STL, I single parented while H stayed behind to work for four months. It was a very bad time having also lost my mother. There were times I thought I would lose my mind. At least when we are together, when one is fed up, we can say “tag, you’re it” and the other comes in and takes over. I take my hat off to single parents. It has to be the toughest job in the world.

I know the fun is just beginning as she enters her teen years. She had a sleepover Saturday night, the night before I left. I was dreading picking her up before the airport because of her cranky mood. What girl comes home from a sleepover well-rested and with a sunny disposition? Of course, she was cross as ever. At some point she told H to stop asking her questions because she hates when people ask her questions, which made us both laugh, which just made her mad. I was all set to be happy to say goodbye since Mr. Hyde had obviously possessed my child. She was silently reading in the back seat, but when the car stopped and I turned around to say goodbye tears were streaming down her face. We got out of the car and sobbed together. In the heat of an argument, my mother used to say that she prayed that I would have a daughter just like me. Oh, if she could see it now.