The True Spirit of St. Louis

I have always felt a bit like an anthropologist in St. Louis, observing what is unique to the city. Being a Midwesterner, I thought moving to St. Louis was going to be a snap, but I think what I learned was that I had changed having lived in other places, and also, not all Midwestern towns are the same. Living in Huntsville, a somewhat transient place where it’s hard to find anyone who was born and raised there, it was commonplace to find groups of friends coming together for holidays in lieu of extended families. This was a place where I felt comfortable. Here in St. Louis, extended family is where it is at. I will never forget the first year I was here I was getting my hair cut a few days before the 4th of July and asked the hairdresser what she and her newlywed husband were doing for 4th of July. I imagined the answer would be getting together with friends for a barbecue. Instead she explained in a bit of a condescending tone that she was going to her parents with her brothers and their families and some cousins as well. Knowing her now for four years, I know that every holiday and usually every Sunday is family time. Having been in the airport around holiday time, I know that people come home to St. Louis for the holiday to be with their extended family. It doesn’t mean their holidays are perfect. I have talked to many a friend who complained about the family gatherings when they were over. But for many here, the point has been stressed that the family gatherings mean something.

In the four years that we have lived in St. Louis, both H and I have lost our mothers. There have been days where this has seemed harder because of the importance placed on family here in St. Louis. Instead of appreciating my little family, I’ve been resentful at times, sometimes angry at St. Louis because of it, which sounds ridiculous. Sometimes our own private “pity parties” take strange shapes. While I have been out and about amongst the holiday revellers this season, I have been grateful for my small family and in a way, have made peace with my surroundings.