N's Visit Ends

N spent the last two days of her time in England being a tourist alone. I had to go back to work on Monday. I was glad she visited. She and I grew up very close but over the years drifted but we have had a lot of similar experiences over the years. The last time I saw her was in Texas about a year after my mom died and I cried all through dinner. I haven’t shed a tear so I guess I’m better. Having N here was almost like validation that this was all really happening and not just a dream. Again, this is probably a result of spending way too much time on my own, but every once in awhile I would think to myself, is this all a dream? Having someone who actually knew me and my former life made sense of it all. It also was a measuring stick for how much I learned. Every day I have translated some phrase for her or explained some difference in the culture. She has also enjoyed being at the B&B and understands how it has kept me sane.

While I haven’t cried in front of her, I embarrassingly shed a tear or two in front of my boss today. I have been trying to keep the personal life out of work, especially the hardships. After all, I signed on for this. As I was leaving my boss’ office today after a meeting she asked me how the family was doing and I told her she probably didn’t want to ask today. I tried to get away but she asked further questions and I couldn’t hold it in. A. has especially been on my mind. Her former friends at school have not been so kind. The only explanation I can come up with is her friends have decided that they will leave her before A. has a chance to leave them. I will light a candle in every church I come across this weekend in hopes that the house will be listed next week and will sell quickly.